Andy was watching a giant Godzilla-like monster rampaging down the street as people were running and screaming from it. The monster was large and purple, and seemed to be hugging just about anything it could get its hands on. Casey just looked over at Andy.
“Shouldn't you, you know, be up there, trying to stop it?” Casey asked without looking over at him.
“Isn't this the military's concern?” Andy asked him as he took a drink of his Slurpee. “I've seen enough Godzilla movies to know that this is a military operation.”
“And what if the military screws this up even worse?” Casey asked. “Or what if S.H.I.E.L.D. decides to nuke us just to get rid of that thing?”
“Good point; besides, he's getting dangerously close to the last Blockbuster in existence,” Andy replied as he took another drink. “Can't let it destroy a historical landmark. Here, hold my Slurpee.”
Andy rushed off to change into Alpha and, within seconds, the hero was flying towards the giant monster. “Alright, Mr. Monster, prepare to hug this–”
The monster just took one swipe at Alpha, knocking him through the roof of Blockbuster. He landed in the middle of the one of the aisles as he sat up and looked at the shelf next to him.
“Hey, Return of the Killer Tomatoes! I’ve been looking for this one!”
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#5
APR 14 |
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“Karma Chameleon”
The large monster continued down the street, noticing the tallest building around as it felt a hug coming on. The monster stomped toward it, wanting to wrap its arms around the building.
Meanwhile, at Blockbuster, Alpha was checking out the movie, looking at the man behind the counter. “So, what else would you recommend based on this selection?”
“Shouldn't you be fighting that monster that's heading toward the Tooley Building?” asked the cashier.
“He's heading towards the largest accounting firm in the country?” asked Alpha with a gasp. “I hate accounting, anyway. One of the worst high school classes I ever took.”
“Aren't you supposed to be a hero?” asked the cashier in a bored tone.
“Oh, crap, I forgot!” Alpha shouted as he flew up, making another hole in the roof. The cashier just sighed as he looked at the store before realizing he just sent away the first customer he'd had in three years.
Meanwhile, Jerrica and Devon were covering the monster story for the high school paper as Jerrica pointed at the monster. “Get some shots of it! This is huge news!”
“This is monstrous news!” Devon shouted as he pointed his camera. “What if it spots us?”
“That thing is thirty stories tall, I don't think it's going to–” Jerrica said as the monster looked down at them. He reached his hand out as Jerrica started screaming, before realizing that it was Devon that it took. “Oh, okay.”
“What do you mean 'okay'?” Devon asked as the monster hugged him. “It smells like wet dog!”
“Alright, you big creep, let that jerk off!” Alpha shouted as he flew toward the monster before stopping. “I think I might want to rephrase that.” He flew up and punched the monster in the nose, which barely phased it. The monster reached out and grabbed for Alpha, who ducked and dodged the monster's grasp as he started circling around the monster's head to make it dizzy.
Meanwhile, Casey and Jerrica were watching Alpha fight the monster as a scientist approached them, holding a test tube beaker in his hand. “We must tell Alpha to get the creature to swallow this to return him to normal!”
“Wait, you're the one who created this thing?” Casey asked.
“We were trying to create a creature that was super-strong but still friendly enough to help humanity,” the scientist told them. “We might have put a little too much friendly into the mixture.”
“Well, there's an understatement,” Casey said as Alpha fell to the ground next to them, just as the monster started climbing the Tooley Building. “Hey, Alpha, you came back in time. We have the solution to the problem.”
“Cool,” Alpha said. “Can someone pop my spine back into place first, though?”
The monster started climbing the Tooley Building with Devon in his hand, who was struggling to get out.
“Since when did I start becoming the damsel in distress?” Devon asked as Alpha flew up to the monster, who tried to avoid it's swiping at him.
“Hey, you Barney wannabe! Have some of this!” Alpha shouted as he punched the monster in the nose. As it started to roar, Alpha tossed the beaker into its mouth just before being knocked out of the sky. Seconds later, the monster started shrinking until it was just the size of a normal monkey. Once it had shrunk down to normal, both it and Devon started falling to the ground just as Alpha caught them both in midair.
“You turned a monkey into that?” Casey asked as the monkey climbed into the scientist's arms.
“That's one heck of a steroid,” Alpha said.
“That monkey almost killed me!” Devon shouted. “This is going to traumatize me for life! Now everytime I see a monkey I'll probably wet myself!”
“That'll be good to remember,” Casey whispered to Alpha.
“Well, the day is saved, guess I'll ramble on,” Alpha said as he turned to leave, just as he ran into Captain America. “Oh, brownies!”
“Alpha, I've been keeping an eye on you lately,” Captain America told him. “And we need to talk.”
“Look, I know I've screwed up some, but I've honestly been really trying!” Alpha tried to explain. “It's just that I'm still getting used to all of this and-”
Cap held up a hand to stop him from talking. “Alpha, I came for one reason only. Son, I think it's time you joined...THE AVENGERS.”
Alpha passed out upon hearing those words, landing in Casey's arms.
“Wait, you're letting this psycho join the Avengers?” Devon laughed. “Why?”
“Because he has the potential to become a great hero, that is if he can stop passing out,” Cap told them as Casey looked down at his friend. “Give him this card to contact me when he wakes up.”
Shortly after Captain America walked away, Alpha opened his eyes. “I just had the greatest dream ever. Captain America asked me to join the Avengers!”
“It wasn't a dream, dude,” Casey told him as he handed Alpha the card. “You're moving up to the big leagues.”
“Something stinks about this,” Devon told Jerrica. “This idiot's caused more destruction than any of the pyschos who've come through this town.”
“Alpha's a genuine hero,” Jerrica told him, “but I think you might have something here. Something isn't right about this. I say we investigate this and get a real news story.”
Later, at home, Andy was laying in his bed as he looked at the card. “Me...an Avenger. Can you believe it?”
“No, I can't,” Casey told him as he looked out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth. “Don't you think it's a little odd that just one month ago, Captain America was calling you out for destroying an entire city block, and now he's asking you to join the world's greatest superheroes?”
“Maybe he just sees something in me,” Andy told him as he sat up. “Maybe he thinks that I've got the potential to be a great hero.”
“Look, Andy, I'm not questioning that,” Casey told him as he came out of the bathroom and sat on his own bed. “It's just...something feels off about this. Just be careful, all right? I don't want to see you get hurt.”
“Dude, I'm indestructible,” Andy laughed as he lay back.
“I meant emotionally,” Casey told him. “You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You're a great guy, you just tend to...try too hard to get people to like you.”
“Are you saying people don't like me?” Andy asked.
“As Andy Maguire, yes,” Casey replied as he got under his blankets. “I like you, my parents like you and I'm sure others do, too. But as Alpha...well, I like you.”
“I'll show you, the whole world that Alpha can be a hero,” Andy told him as he rolled over, not realizing Casey was already asleep. “I'll be the greatest hero to hit the scene since Squirrel Girl.”
Devon came home and walked into the poorly kept up house. He found a note from his younger brother saying he'd gone to his scout meeting on the fridge as he opened it and found several fresh six packs of beer. Devon closed his eyes and tried to pretend he didn't see them.
“You get them grades up yet, boy?” Devon's father asked as he sat on the couch.
“Getting there, sir,” Devon told him. “I'll have my grade point back up by the end of the semester.”
“Good, and it better stay there, or else,” the man told him as Devon looked at his watch. It was almost time for his father to start his nightly drinking binge. He rushed upstairs and barricaded the door, hoping his little brother would end up staying with one of his friends after the scout meeting ended.
The next day, Alpha met Captain America in the park after they had agreed to meet. Alpha flew down and looked at him, barely able to contain his smile.
“So when do I meet the rest of the Avengers?” Alpha asked excitedly. “When I get to take a tour of the mansion? Do I get to meet Jarvis? Can I fly the jet?”
“Calm down, son,” Cap told him, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. “Before you officially join the Avengers, you have to...pass a few tests.”
“Tests? You mean like school tests?” Alpha asked a little worried. “I'm not really the scholarly type. I mean, I did get an A recently, but I'm not sure I can pull off that miracle again.”
“Relax, Alpha, it's not the written kind of test,” Cap laughed. “Just a few tests of your powers to make sure that you're up for being an Avenger.”
As they talked, they were being followed by Jerrica and Devon.
“See, I told you Captain America was spotted in the park,” Jerrica told him. “Let's follow them and see what's up.”
“And what happens if this is all legit and Alpha joins the Avengers? He could start screwing things up on a global scale,” Devon told her.
“Relax. If this is legit, the Avengers wouldn't let him go out on missions without training him or something,” Jerrica told him. “Let's just follow them and see where they go.”
Meanwhile, Casey was at home watching the news when a live feed of the Avengers in a battle was shown in New York.
“Wait a minute, if Captain America's there, then who is Alpha meeting with?” Casey asked himself as he got up and headed for the door.
Jerrica and Devon followed Alpha and Captain America as they left the park and headed Downtown to a science firm. They stood outside as Cap looked at Alpha.
“Alright, kid, this is your first test,” Cap told him. “This firm is a front for a criminal organization. They recently stole a high tech device from another company, capable of emitting a frequency so powerful that it could take down the Hulk. We need to get it back before it falls into the wrong hands.”
“And you're trusting me to do this?” Alpha asked.
“Of course,” Cap said, patting his shoulder. “But if you don't think you're Avenger's material...”
“Stand back,” Alpha told him. “Just have to do this really carefully so I don't get caught. I'll be back with that device, just have my Avenger's membership card ready.”
“It's right here,” Cap said as he pulled out a card and signed it with his left hand. “It'll be waiting for you when you've passed.”
Alpha smiled as he flew toward the building and went through the doors.
“Why is he going into that building?” Devon asked.
“I don't know, maybe he's asking for directions or something,” Jerrica replied as they got closer.
“That's not Captain America,” Casey told them as he arrived. “It's a fake. The real Captain America's in New York. Whatever he has Alpha doing, it can't be legit. We have to stop him!”
“I'll stop Alpha,” Devon told them with a sigh. “That'll give me a chance to give that dork a piece of my mind.”
“No one is stopping anything,” Captain America told the group, having overheard them. “What are you doing here?”
“The better question is, what are you doing?” Casey asked as he stood up. “We know you're a fake, so you'd better tell Alpha what's going on before–”
“Before what?” Cap smiled menacingly. “I have the fool suckered into believing that he's going to be joining the Avengers, so I can string him along and have him do anything I ask. It's just too bad the cat is out of the bag, because now I have to deal with you three.”
“Oh, yeah? Just try it you–” Devon said as he was punched and knocked out as the fake Captain America loomed over Casey and Jerrica.
“I can't believe I'm going to be an Avenger,” Alpha said as he snuck his way past security, taking out several cameras as he went. “All I have to do is find this gizmo and I'll have that membership card and–wait a sec...”
Alpha remembered Captain America signing the card with his left hand. He remembered back to his first meeting with Cap several weeks earlier, doing everything with his right hand. He thought back even further to TV interviews and old news footage of Captain America being right handed.
“I think I've been played,” Alpha said to himself as he found the room with the device he was looking for inside of it. “Nobody plays with Andy Maguire and gets off...okay, definately has to rephrase that.”
Half an hour later, Alpha flew out of the building and found Captain America waiting for him.
“Well? Where is it?” asked Captain America.
“They moved it to a top secret location,” Alpha told him. “I know where it is and it'll be super easy getting it.”
“Excellent,” Cap told him as they headed off. “Kid, by the end of the night, you're going to be an Avenger.”
A short while later, they arrived at abandoned air field just outside of town. Alpha landed and waited for Cap to catch up to him.
“This is where they brought it,” Alpha told him as he looked around. “They figured no one would come out here to find it.”
“It had better be here,” Cap told him. “Just bring it to me and you're place in the Avengers is secured.”
“Sure,” Alpha told him as he picked up a rock. “You know, I was thinking about our first meeting a few weeks ago. You remember, how you told me that I was going to be a great hero someday and you couldn't wait to see how far I'd come?”
“Oh, yeah,” Cap told him. “You really did me proud, kid. The second I saw you, I knew you'd be something special.”
“Yeah, sure,” Alpha said, raising an eyebrow under his hood. “Just one more thing.”
Alpha tossed it at Captain America, who caught it in his left hand.
“Captain America's right handed,” Alpha told him. “And he never said anything positive to me in our first meeting. But you signed that card with your left and you got our whole conversation wrong. Who are you, and why are you posing as Cap?”
“So, you figured it out, did you?” Captain America asked as his voice suddenly changed. He pulled his mask off, revealing a grey face underneath. The Chameleon pulled out a gun and held it at him. “You're not quite the idiot I took you for.”
“Thanks...I think,” Alpha told him as he used a projectile blast from his hand to knock the gun out of the Chameleon's grip. “I also brought you out here so you wouldn't be able to harm any innocent people when I outed you.”
“Oh, but you're too late for that, child,” Chameleon told him with a laugh. “I've already taken your friends and hidden them in the city. And the only way to save them is to bring me the device. If not, they'll die within the hour!”
“How about I just pound the stuffing out of you until you tell me where they are?” Alpha asked as he grabbed the Chameleon by the collar.
“You don't have enough time to both do that and save your friends,” the Chameleon told him. “Time is running out.”
Alpha flew off, not believing that he had to go through with this. He was going to make the Chameleon pay for what he'd done to his friends...and Devon. He flew back toward the science firm and landed in front of it.
“Alright, Alpha, you just have to figure out how to stop the Chameleon and rescue your friends in less than an hour,” Alpha said to himself. “I can do this, I just have to think. Come on, brain. You just have to focus.”
There's a place you've got to go
For learning all you want to know about the facts of life
The facts of life.
When books are what you're there about
And looks are what you care about the time is right,
To learn the facts of life.
When the world never seems to be living up to your dreams
It's time you started finding out what everything is all about
When the boys you used to hate you date,
I guess you best investigate the facts of life
You gotta get'em right. The facts of life,
“Curse you, TV Land!” Alpha shouted as he smacked himself upside the head.
Twenty minutes later, Alpha returned to the air field with the device in his hands. He held it close as the Chameleon came toward him.
“Not so fast,” Alpha told him. “Tell me where my friends are first.”
“One is on the train tracks near the firm,” the Chameleon told him. “One is in a grain silo a mile from there, and your last friend is in a movie theater that's showing the director's cut of Gigli.”
“You monster!” Alpha shouted as he tossed the device into the air as he took off flying as fast as he could. Chameleon dove for the device, catching it before it hit the ground.
The first stop was the grain silo, where Devon was being buried in grain. It was nearly up to his mouth as Alpha flew in through the door, went up through the grain and grabbed Devon, bursting through the roof.
“You actually did something right for a change!” Devon shouted as Alpha looked down at him.
“You know we're two miles up. I can still drop you,” Alpha replied.
The next stop was the train track, where Jerrica was tied down to the tracks. Alpha landed by her and started breaking the ropes. “Was I being duped by the Chameleon or Snidely Whiplash?”
“Alpha, the train!” Jerrica shouted as Alpha looked behind him.
“Relax, this is one train ride that we're going to miss,” Alpha said as he picked Jerrica up and flew off, just barely missing the train coming through.
“So...how you doin'?” Alpha said in a sly voice.
“You can put me down right there,” Jerrica said, rolling her eyes.
Casey was strapped down in the movie theater, having sat through thirty minutes of commercials. The lights had just gone down and the movie was about to start. Casey knew this was the end as he saw the former Benifer appear on the screen, just as Alpha burst through the wall and slung Casey over his shoulder.
“You saved my life!” Casey told him as Alpha flew him out of the theater. “I thought my eyes were going to bleed out of my head.”
“Well, it could have been worse,” Alpha told him. “It could have been the Garbage Pail Kids Movie.”
“What about the fake Captain America?” Casey asked him as Alpha flew him back to his house. “How did you figure it out?”
“He left a clue,” Alpha snickered as Casey just sighed.
“That was a bad pun, wasn't it?” Casey asked. “What have I told you about those? Did you really let the Chameleon get away?”
“Relax, I'm not done with him yet.” Alpha told him as he took off into the air.
“I finally have it!” the Chameleon said as he held the device in his hands. “I'll make a fortune selling this on the black market to the highest bidder. All I have to do is – what's this?”
The Chameleon examined the device and saw some small cracks in it. He squeezed it in his hands, breaking it into several hundred pieces, revealing that it was made out of legos. “NO!”
“Did I mention to tell you how good I am at building stuff out of building blocks?” Alpha asked as he flew down towards him. “Got an A for it in kindergarten.”
“I'll destroy you!” the Chameleon shouted as he pulled out a gun and fired at Alpha. The blasts deflected off of the force field Alpha mentally put up as he flew down at the villain. “If you take me in, I'll blow up the bridge!”
“What is with you and setting up traps?” Alpha asked as the Chameleon pushed the button, causing a nearby bridge to blow up.
“It's your choice, boy,” Chameleon told him. “Stop me or save the people on the bridge!”
“I choose,” Alpha said as he thought about it. “BOTH!”
Alpha grabbed the Chameleon by the collar and flew toward the bridge as fast as he could, where several cars were on verge of falling over the destroyed portion. Alpha hung the Chameleon from the support beam as he flew down as fast as he could to catch the cars as they fell over the edge.
“Okay, Alpha, don't screw this one up,” Alpha said to himself as he caught each car and tossed them back up to the bridge as gently as he could. That's when he heard something he'd never heard before: people cheering for him. He waved as he flew back up to the Chameleon. “You know, you're a master of disguise, why didn't you just stroll into that firm and get the device yourself?”
“Because I thought I could get the dumbest superhero in town to do it,” Chameleon told him. “After all, that's the underground rumor about you. You're the worst superhero to ever hit the scene.”
“The dumbest superhero? Ouch,” Alpha said, his ego feeling a bit more deflated now. Alpha grabbed the Chameleon and flew him to the local police station, dropping him off. He was about to change back into his street clothes when he found a strange sight waiting for him outside of the station.
“Alpha?” the real Captain America asked as he stood there. He’d headed toward Indiana the second he had a free moment after he'd heard he'd been spotted there with Alpha. “We need to talk.”
“How do I know you're the real Captain America this time?” Alpha asked him. “How do I know that you're not another phony?”
“Perhaps I should recount our entire conversation from our first meeting,” Cap told him. “In exact, graphic detail.”
“Are you here to tell me how I screwed up?” Alpha asked, believing him. “I know, I messed up and let the Chameleon fool me into almost robbing that science firm, and I almost got my friends killed, but I–”
“Actually I came to say...you did a good job,” Cap told him as he put his hand over Alpha's mouth. “I heard rumors that I'd been spotted here while I was in New York and came to investigate. Your technique still needs...massive work, but you're not entirely screwing up. In fact, I'd say you were improving.”
“Improving enough to join the Avengers?” asked Alpha hopefully.
“Sorry, kid, you're not that good,” Cap told him. “Maybe in a few years when you've gotten the hang of this hero thing. Right now, you're just too raw to hang out in the big leagues. But I will admit that you have potential.”
“Oh,” Alpha said with disappointment in his voice. “So I guess I can be good at this hero thing if I really tried.”
“You will be,” Cap said, putting a hand on the young man's shoulder. “Just keep working at it, and remember that you're here to help people not yourself. Be a good American and make me proud. And maybe the next time we meet we can actually go out and fight some crime together.”
“Cool,” Alpha replied with a smile on his face. “I will make you proud, Captain America. I promise. But before you go, I need to tell you about something that happened recently.”
Alpha spent the next twenty minutes telling Cap about Scrotor and the Abercrombrian invasion. After he was finished, he just looked up at the hero.
“I'll inform the Avengers and we'll keep an eye on the situation,” Cap told him as he got onto his bike. “Just remember everything that I told you and you'll do fine. See you around, kid.”
As soon as Devon returned home, he was met with a harsh smack across the face. He'd stayed out past curfew then made the mistake of coming home to his drunken father. Luckily his younger brother knew the drill and managed to hide in a secret hole in the cellar. Devon wouldn't be so lucky that night.
A short while later, Andy was walking home, going past a store window with several TV screens it. The news had a story on Alpha and, even though he couldn't hear the report, he was seeing that it was a positive report.
“Looks like things are getting better,” Andy said to himself. “People are starting to like Alpha. People are starting to like me.”
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The End...
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